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Kids Tell It Like It Is: Marriage

Salma Rumman — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 21:51:56 +0000

I have to appreciate the honesty of kids. They are free to say what they think without the filter we adults have perfected.

How would you make your marriage work?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.
Ricky, age 10

How can a stranger tell if two people are married?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
Derrick, age 8

What do you think your mom and dad have in common?
Both don’t want any more kids.
Lori, age 8

More Quotes

Political Scandal Leaves the Other Woman on Top

Salma Rumman — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 22:35:20 +0000

Political scandal can be devastating to a politician or political hopeful, but sometimes it does have a few benefits—at least for the other woman. Let’s face it, these women became famous because they had sex and we knew about it. Fortunately, for them, their dirty deeds did not lead them to a lifetime of shame and poverty. From the recently inducted Ashley Dupré to Donna Rice we found that “the other woman” stayed on top.

25 Signs You Have Grown Up

Salma Rumman — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 22:13:33 +0000

1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can’t smoke any of them.

2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.

3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.

4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.

5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.

6. You watch the Weather Channel.

7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of “hook up” and “breakup.”

8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.

9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as “dressed up.”

10. You’re the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door won’t turn down the stereo.

11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.

12. You don’t know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.

13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.

14. You feed your dog “Science Diet” instead of McDonald’s leftovers.

15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.

16. You take naps.

17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.

18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at three in the morning would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.

19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.

20. A four dollar bottle of wine is no longer “pretty good shit.”

21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.

22. “I just can’t drink the way I used to” replaces “I’m never going to drink that much again.”

23. Ninety percent of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.

24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.

25. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking “Oh shit what the hell happened?”

Bonus:26

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